“Black and Blue” was born from two sides of my life that most people never imagine existing together: surviving domestic violence and responding to it as a police officer. I’ve lived both. And for a long time, denial convinced me I could “help” someone become the person I believed they could be. Looking back, that belief was pure delusion.
While my heart was breaking, it was held together by hope—hope that acted like a chain, wrapped around old scars I thought had healed. Like many survivors, I learned that with every bright day came a storm. “Black and Blue” is my story as someone who didn’t yet understand narcissistic abuse, but paid the price of learning it firsthand.
This experience taught me that growth has no age limit and shame has no place in survival. In the first verse, I sing about using up “nine lives” like a cat—yet every time, I stood back up. Now I use my voice to reach the person who might be standing where I once stood. If you see a red flag: run. It’s not a parade. Abuse doesn’t get better. You cannot love someone into changing. Narcissists project; they don’t evolve.
“Blue lights, white lies” refers to the night I finally opened the door for the police. That moment ended my relationship. He wanted me to lie—“get the story right”—but bruises don’t lie.
Like my song “Warriors,” this track is meant to empower. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate—age, gender, background, none of it protects you. And as a former cop, even a professional problem-solver, I learned that some problems can’t be fixed. They must be walked away from.
I didn’t stay because of low self-esteem. Mine was solid. I stayed because I thought love could save someone. But only God has that power.
I turned a bad experience into something meaningful—my new single, “Black and Blue.”
I hope it helps someone recognize the truth sooner than I did.”
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